There's a lot that I try to do with music emotion-wise. At different times I want to create different feelings, like joy, melancholy, rage etc. etc. However, there's one thing that comse above all else in really affecting me.

What I want to do with music, most of all, is create a sense of wonder. A feeling that there is something out there to be discovered. Maybe it's the fact that in life nowadays, we don't have so much of that feeling of discovery.

Anyway, when I start to work on a project that gives me that feeling, it's one of the greatest things in life, for me. It's really something that I try to hold on to when life gets difficult.

I know that my last post was full of a lot of complaining and angst and whatnot. That's not to say it isn't genuine, but of course I feel differently about it now.

The point is, although I have to accept the fact that I won't be participating in AIM this year, I am still working on something that inspires me.

I'll start with some good news. I recently became a supporter, with a 1 year membership. It's something I've meant to do for a long time now, and I'm finally able to contribute to such an amazing community. Plus, no more ads.

Now onto me venting...

I haven't posted anything in a while, and there's a few factors affecting this.

1. I have a job, giving me money to buy a new laptop and Ableton. This sounds like a good thing, and in the long run it most definitely is. However, I'm still getting used to the workflow and I don't have as much time as I'd like to just work on learning the software. Everything I'm working on right now is kinda shit, and it's not the most encouraging feeling.

2. Back to that first one, I have a job. Pros: Money. Cons: Less time to work on stuff. It would be okay, except that...

3. I have this fucking online course that I'm taking, and it sucks. I've always hated online courses because they play right into my procrastination mindset. Right now I'm behind and I need to work on it every single goddamned night for a couple hours, cutting into time I could be doing some worthwhile shit like practing piano or writing music (you know, what I want to do as a career for the REST OF MY FUCKING LIFE). I wouldn't even care that much, except that it's a required course and I can't graduate if I don't finish it.

4. I hesitate to put this one on here, but I figure maybe I can be a little honest and open here (that and probably no one will read this whiny tl;dr bullshit). I've been feeling really lifeless and shitty of late, and I'm starting to realize that it's a pervasive problem that has been affecting my life for a long time. I bounce around from feeling stuck, stagnant, worthless, guilty, panicky (in a sense of "Oh shit I'm not getting anything done, life is passing me by, etc.), empty, and even downright spiteful. It's not like I'm never happy, but when I'm alone or trying to work on something, it just creeps up on me and starts to drag me down.

Basically, these four things have been making my life a living hell for the past while. The worst thing, for me, is having to consider that I might not even have time to be a part of AIM this year. That honestly makes me want to fucking cry, and it's just because I have to waste my time on a whole lot of bullshit. Like, if there was a super important life event that was happening or something, that would be different, but it's just this menial slog through what feels like an infinite quantity of shit I have no desire to do. I took part in AIM last year and it was one of the greatest experiences I've had on this site. Now I'm  feeling like I'll probably either enter something that's subpar and so far below my potential that it's nothing more than an embarrassment or just decide to delete what I have been working on.

I'm sorry to post something like this. I've always felt like I need to keep everything to myself, like it's my duty to protect the world from everything that's wrong with me. It's one of the underlying roots of many of the problems I have in life. So I'm writing this because I need to get this out there. Thanks for reading, if you did.

TL;DR
I feel bad.

Yours truly,

MaverickMode

I've been very busy lately. I started at a new job in the midst of trying to do all my college audition stuff, and it hasn't left a lot of time for me to just sit down and compose. I've also been in sort of a lull regarding new ideas worthy of working on. However, there's a new track that I just started working on that uses sampled vocals from Night Sky, which is turning out to be quite the interesting little piece of music.

At this point, it's hard for me to say when I'll be releasing new material on here, but I can say with certainty that there are several projects in the works at the moment.

Yours truly,

MaverickMode

Some thoughts on 2016:
I think that we can all agree that it's been a pretty shitty year. Political turmoil, celebrity deaths, and a whole host of other calamities have befallen the world.
For me, personally, though, there have been some good things. I'm not exactly optimistic about the future, but hope hasn't been completely beaten out of me... yet...

Anyway, it turns out that 2016 has been my most productive year yet, with 8 finished songs posted to Newgrounds (9 if you count Dogborough Fair, which I don't. By the way, that's still my most popular song of 2016).

I hope that in 2017 I can beat that number. I'm not one to make resolutions, but if I were that would be one of them.

There are a lot of big changes in store for me in 2017. I'm going off to college, to study the one thing that I love doing without fail, and that's music composition. You might be saying "What a waste of time and money!", and to that I say "*mumble mumble* I guess you're right, but I'm doing it anyway *mumble muble*". I don't think this should affect my flow of music onto this site, though. Most of the stuff that I post here is music I worked on for the fun of it, and I see myself as always wanting to work on projects that are fun to me (even when there's an important deadline for something else coming up). Who knows, I may even end up posting some of my projects for college on here. Don't worry though, I'm not going to start exclusively uploading 12 tone pieces or anything.

We'll see what happens in the future. For right now, I'm just going to take deep breaths and stay busy.

By the way, not sure if I mentioned this before or not, but I'm working on a chiptune for Pixel Day that I think is turning out really nicely. Hopefully you'll be able to hear it on January 21st!

Until then.

Yours truly, and a happy 2017,

MaverickMode

Wow, I'm actually using my News bulletin thing occasionally. So proud of myself!

Basically, right now I'm scrapping the Christmas song. It's just not bringing me any joy to work on it, and I don't think anyone's about to bawl their eyes out because it won't be released this year. It's more something I wanted to do for myself, but it's just not turning out like I wanted, mostly because I have no clear direction or idea of where the song's going and the original idea isn't that good.

However, that doesn't mean that I'm not going to be producing anything soon. Right now I'm a little busy composing music for a college portfolio, but I've started work on a chiptune for pixel day. I'm really starting to enjoy it! I may also post a short piano/vocal song here soon.

Anyway, this has been another installment of "boring stuff that's happening in my life". Tune in next week for some more exciting news!

Yours truly,
MaverickMode

Here's an update for you.

I am busy, as always, but it's mostly the good kind of busy. I am feeling stress, as usual, but I'm rolling with the punches quite well if I do say so myself.

I've got a song in the works that I think you guys are going to like. Compositionally, it's done. All that's left is to mix/master the whole thing, and then upload it. In addition, I'm also working on an original electronic Christmas song based on an idea I had back in 2014 or thereabouts. It's been buzzing around in my brain all that time, and this year I'm FINALLY going to release it. I mean, hopefully.

Anyway, I'm still here, I'll be uploading soon, and I love every single one of you. Well, uh, most of you.

Yours truly,
MaverickMode

Ah, I haven't posted anything in a little while after being fairly active, but I'm so very busy with all the stuff that's going on my life right now. Anyway, I don't really have anything in the works, but there have been some nice musical ideas buzzing around my head. Only time will tell if I'll have time to work on them.

This is a bit of a pointless ramble, but I really wanted to stay active and keep up with stuff on here. I get on after a few weeks of inactivity and discover that I have two new followers! It doesn't seem like much, and I don't have many followers right now, but it really does mean a lot to me. Hopefully there should be new material soon.

Until then, hold on tight.

With love,
MaverickMode

That title probably suggested that something is wrong, but that just isn't the case! Usually when I title a post like that, it means that I'm going on hiatus or coming back from hiatus or something...

Anyway, I realize that I haven't been producing much lately, given that my "finished songs" counter for the past few months is at a resounding 0. I have been working on some stuff, just having trouble finishing. Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that I've got something coming up that should be pretty good. Also, I'm planning on being a part of the Art Inspired Music Contest, so that should be fun. I really am looking forward to that one, I can't wait to take a work of art from one of the amazing artists on this site and create a song inspired by it. So, hopefully if things work out like I plan, I'll release a couple of songs that might make up for my lack of getting anything done lately.

I know I'm just kind of gratifying myself by posting these updates, given that I don't have more than a couple followers, but I kind of figure that if I pretend like I'm a success that people care about for long enough, maybe it will actually happen.

This has gone on for too long.

MaverickMode out.

(Still trying to figure out a cool, consistent way to end these)

Well, my one fan who might read this ;), I'm not dead and I'm once again using Newgrounds. I don't think I'll be posting any music on here for a while though, unless it happens to be something I think that the people of this site will want to hear.

However, I am still making music which you can listen to here if you'd like. In my opinion, it's some of the best stuff I've ever made.

As always, I'm still open for collaboration on any projects going on here on Newgrounds that interest me. If you desire to work with me or need/want my help, or if you just want to chat with a (probably) friendly person about music or anything else, feel free to pm me and we can get in touch.

Right, so this is the account of the former user Dorianmusic. I decided to change my artist's name to Maverick Mode, and so I made a new account.

A little about myself: I am a musician, writer, amateur photographer, humorist, and sort of kind of maybe starting to kind of try to learn how to sort of develop games (But I wouldn't go as far as to call myself a game dev). I listen to pretty much everything, and judge music only by whether or not I like it.

As for what you can plan to see here on this site, I make electronic music with a midi keyboard and the DAW known as Acid Music Studio. I also dabble in MilkyTracker, but I've still got a ways to go before I'm 8-bit Weapon. As far as games, there's one in the works, but I have to get around to actually making the damn thing.

I've wasted enough of your time, so I'll just go ahead and leave before bad things start to happen. Enjoy! Or don't! 

...

But please do. AND TELL YOUR FRIENDS!